Gary L Sheaffer
May 23, 1958 ~ November 9, 2020
Gary Lee Sheaffer, retired U.S. Foreign Service Officer, lost his five-year battle with cancer the evening of November 9. He was 62 years old.
Gary grew up in Mechanicsburg, PA, and attended Dickinson College, from which he graduated as a Charles Nisbet Scholar with a BA in Philosophy in 1980. Following a brief period working as a local journalist, Gary entered the Foreign Service in 1984. His first assignment was as vice consul in Vancouver, British Columbia, a job that fostered a strong attachment to Canada for the rest of his life. It also led to a professional focus on consular work that would mark most of his career.
Gary’s later assignments abroad included Algiers, Algeria; Paris, France; Istanbul, Turkey; and Montreal, Canada. His domestic assignments were primarily in the Bureau of Consular Affairs of the Department of State. Gary was promoted into the Senior Foreign Service in 2011 and retired the following year at the rank of Counselor and holding the position of Deputy Director for Canadian Affairs.
In addition to the pride Gary took in his work and service to his country, he developed a passion for jazz, fine wine, and good food. He especially loved clams, which he would eat in any way they were prepared, sometimes with regret. Gary also enjoyed traveling, especially to exotic places where he and his wife could see animals in their native habitats. This experience gave them a shared devotion to protecting wildlife and the environment. Among Gary’s talents was a strong talent for writing.
Gary is survived by Michele Chapman, his wife of 32 years whom he met in Algiers, as well as two cats (Zoe and Oliver). Other survivors include his mother, Adelle, sister, Karen, and brother, Steve, along with in-laws Jim and Jackie.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Gary's name to The Feline Foundation of Greater Washington (FFGW), Doctors Without Borders, or INOVA Fairfax Life with Cancer.
Gary grew up in Mechanicsburg, PA, and attended Dickinson College, from which he graduated as a Charles Nisbet Scholar with a BA in Philosophy in 1980. Following a brief period working as a local journalist, Gary entered the Foreign Service in 1984. His first assignment was as vice consul in Vancouver, British Columbia, a job that fostered a strong attachment to Canada for the rest of his life. It also led to a professional focus on consular work that would mark most of his career.
Gary’s later assignments abroad included Algiers, Algeria; Paris, France; Istanbul, Turkey; and Montreal, Canada. His domestic assignments were primarily in the Bureau of Consular Affairs of the Department of State. Gary was promoted into the Senior Foreign Service in 2011 and retired the following year at the rank of Counselor and holding the position of Deputy Director for Canadian Affairs.
In addition to the pride Gary took in his work and service to his country, he developed a passion for jazz, fine wine, and good food. He especially loved clams, which he would eat in any way they were prepared, sometimes with regret. Gary also enjoyed traveling, especially to exotic places where he and his wife could see animals in their native habitats. This experience gave them a shared devotion to protecting wildlife and the environment. Among Gary’s talents was a strong talent for writing.
Gary is survived by Michele Chapman, his wife of 32 years whom he met in Algiers, as well as two cats (Zoe and Oliver). Other survivors include his mother, Adelle, sister, Karen, and brother, Steve, along with in-laws Jim and Jackie.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Gary's name to The Feline Foundation of Greater Washington (FFGW), Doctors Without Borders, or INOVA Fairfax Life with Cancer.
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I’m so sorry, Michele. I worked with Gary several times through the years and spending time with Gary was a highlight of any day. He was smart, knowledgeable, witty, and above all just a super nice guy. I have so much admiration for the courage and strength you’ve both shown over the last few years. And I always loved Gary’s posts dealing with Oliver’s antics. Heartfelt condolences. Jim Pritchett
Jim, you’ve artfully captured how I and so many of our consular colleagues feel about Gary. I am still processing my own feelings but I really appreciate this expression of it.
I knew Gary for a long time. Gary and I went to college together, and we even dated for a year before deciding that we would be better off as friends. I was actually talking about him today in class (I teach at George Washington University) because the subject of the consular service came up and I mentioned a story he told me once. He was a good man. I didn’t see him often enough given how close we lived, but it always mattered that I knew he was close by. Now he isn’t, except in our hearts. I won’t forget him.
I spent many a morning with Gary and his wife Michele at the local Starbucks talking about all of the goings on in the world. Gary was a great conversationalist and of course a diplomat. He was also one of the toughest people I have ever seen fight his way through a very difficult illness. He will be missed but more importantly he will be remembered.
I’ve known Gary since childhood, although the exact details are lost to the mists of time. Gary and I were simpatico in a number of ways, especially as we moved into junior high and high school. I think it is safe to say we were both kind of geeky, enjoyed doing things like playing Risk, and other strategy games – especially games by Avalon Hill – following Monty Python, and paying attention to politics. I spent as much time at his house as mine – maybe more, along with a couple other friends in the neighborhood. All of them, including his mom and dad, brother and sister, felt like a second family to me. Oh, and I always told Gary he looked like Woody Allen, which made sense since we were both seriously into Woody Allen movies – you know, so deep and philosophical when you’re 15 or so. When we got to high school, we joined the debate team and had an ongoing friendly (I think) rivalry over who was better. Back in those days you debated one side generally, and I was an affirmative while Gary was a negative, so we were rarely debating together. I was in awe of his research and speaking skills, but also really proud – too proud – when I won 1st Speaker at a key tournament instead of him. I still have the plaque on my wall – seriously! Those years of working with Gary under the coaching of Bill Murray at Mechanicsburg High School were highlights of that time of my life. Gary wrote two songs for the debate team (We were BIG and won more than the football team; Gary’s sister Karen often spearheaded designing posters that went up around the school ahead of debate meets, and our results were announced to the school just like other sports) that I still can sing. One started, “Debaters fight, fight for m-burg debate, give us a quote that’s worth gold its weight…” (tune – Notre Dame fight song). Somewhere I still have the newspaper picture with the debate team in it after we won some tournament. Sadly, I can’t put my hands on it right now. We were also Republican-leaning in those days – everyone in our town was, I think – and Gary wrote a brilliant piece about Watergate (at least brilliant from a 16-year old’s perspective) that I still have and about which we both later were embarrassed. While it lists both him and me as authors, he did almost all of it. But since I typed it, my name came first. He was very talented. And he was smart enough to not stand up in front of our speech class and make a speech defending Nixon. Not one of my personal better moments. I like to think we both learned a lot over the years. Eventually Gary was best man at my wedding, but sadly, as happened easily in the pre-social media days, we mostly lost touch as he went into serving our country in the Foreign Service and I began to try to figure out what to do with myself. We occasionally caught up, but not often enough. Then, about 5 or so years ago, our dear friend Barry Young received an award, and invited us to the event. It was amazing to see each other again, we talked a lot, and reconnected some via Facebook. Of course we said we should get together again. But then the cancer came. Gary maintained an amazing positive attitude even through what was clearly something no one should have to deal with. I am gutted to learn that the cancer won out, but beyond lucky to have had him as a friend especially back in the day when I often felt I didn’t have very many. RIP my friend, and my deepest condolences to his family and all who cared for Gary. I’m so sorry for your loss. May he always live on in memory and our hearts.
Gary was a friend, a mentor, a patient listener, and a wise giver of advice. I am so glad I was able to know and work with him. My deepest condolences to everyone who loved him, most especially Michele.
Paul and I enjoyed living diagonal from Michelle and Gary for many years. We shared some fine neighbors, including many who were also dear friends. I will remember Gary always happy, smiling, and ready for a good chat. When we caught up, we chatted about their travels, work, some politics, and plenty of neighborhood issues. Mostly Gary lit up when talking about good food and restaurants. We enjoyed biannual neighborhood gatherings in the Square, plus an occasional neighborhood snow shoveling soiree, slip-n-slide party in the sideyard, or neighborhood clean up project. Michelle, we were pained a few times, watching Gary’s valiant fight in recent years. We read his/your updates, then prayed for a miracle and strength for you both. He dearly loved you, Michelle, and wanted nothing more than to spend many more years together with you — and your sweet cats. He lived well and fought hard. He will be missed by many. We will keep praying for strength and peace. Fondly, Dee & Paul
I met Gary early on in my first DC assignment. He was a steady, welcoming, friendly presence and I am incredibly fortunate to have had regular opportunities to talk with him, benefit from his experience, and be reassured that great people like him exist. Seeing him again when I passed through town and trading messages was always a delight. I treasure those moments and look forward to Gary memories flooding me each time I see a Laurie Case book.
My condolences to Michele and family. Gary was a co-worker and friend. During my final year plus at the State Dept, we had great conversations about the Maine coast, food, drink, music, and retirement plans. He fought incredibly these past several years, and even in the toughest moments he managed to share his humor, whether it was a cartoon or Oliver’s latest escapade. He will be missed by many.
I met Gary and Michele during my first overseas post in Istanbul over 20 years ago, while they were already experienced. I was a budding wine aficionado and found out that Gary knew a great deal. I will never know or be able to taste as much as he did. Also, they were both great readers, and we exchanged books frequently – and when I was at a hardship post, they sent me the most thoughtful care packages. Both would encourage me to tag along with them to the various functions, and we had great meals together, and long discussions. Our friendship continued and evolved throughout the years, and many times Gary would be my mentor about foreign service life. We met up in London (where yes, we ALL cried over Lion King and it was NOT something in his eye – he really did say that!) and Montreal to welcome in a new year, and they always made me feel welcome. I am glad I was able to see Gary before the pandemic hit. It was hard to see him not being able to enjoy wine or talk as freely, but I was glad to see him and you Michele nonetheless. I’m grateful to this friendship and will miss Gary very much. Michele – you’re stuck with me!
Planting a tree to honor Gary is so in character, I love this!
I am so sorry that I only this afternoon stumbled upon Michelle’s note of Gary’s passing, but have almost instantly started sharing in the pang of loss in the void you all are feeling. Far too long ago, in the years following college our paths diverged into directions that would keep us focused on new great things, and on people he and I would regretfully not get to share as much with each other as we had as we had come through all our school years together. In eighth grade our last names starting with R and S started seating us near each other, and we soon discovered a range of interests that bonded us quickly and instantly. We loved writing stories together that took jabs at imitating or recreating some of our favorite topics, like Monty Python or James Bond or Woody Allen. We even put together a full-length screen play that pulled them all together, and would have starred Gary in the Woody-like Bond role… if only we had lived in the age of video camcorders, instead of the super 8 cameras of our school age. Gary and I shared many a time together and conversation and road trips that covered many a topic. It was Gary and his coaching who coaxed this overly introverted soul into making the first phone call to make a date with a girl. And he shared a role in my wedding to my wife Patty so many years later. One of the biggest regrets in life came in only catching a glimpse of the person in you that would become the important part of his life journey, little realizing then how we were beginning on the divergent paths I didn’t know would keep us so focused things and people we found important around us enough to forget how important we were to each other. Dear Sister, Michelle, know that when I stumbled upon your Facebook notice this afternoon, in spite of all the years, and how infrequently you and I have met, I suddenly felt the ache of the void I know you are surely feeling now, as he was so important a part of all of us who he touched and served in his life. I am so fully with you in spirit, sharing in your loss and hoping what have been so many joyful memories are embracing you now. I’m saddened and energized as I have started working on working back through some of the notes tonight. I am your Brother in Spirit tonight, Patty and I are embracing you there, in our thoughts, from our spots on this path… over here. Ron Ross
What a privilege and an honor to have known this extraordinary man. Through Inova Life with Cancer I have had the opportunity to work with such a beautiful, strong and caring couple, Gary and Michele. Knowing these two has added so much richness to my life and, no doubt, to the lives of many. Rest in peace, Gary and thank you for all that you have done for the greater good. You are so very loved.
With heartfelt condolences,
Our sympathy’s to Michele and Gary”s family. Gary was a great brother in-law and will be missed. He sufferd for a very long time and he was very brave to endure all those procedures with no success but he kept going on anyway. He is finally at rest and no more suffering. RIP Gary you will always be in our hearts. Jim and Jackie Chapman.
I met Gary on Facebook through our mutual friend Cat Hurst. I admired his wisdom, insights, and wit. I looked forward to his comments, and I miss them. And him.
We started out as neighbors and became friends with Gary and Michele during their time in Montreal and enjoyed Gary’s wit, humour and his love of all things Montreal. Gary was a kind, gentle man who fought a courageous battle for a long time with Michele by his side. Our condolences to you Michele, we will miss him. We welcome you back to Montreal Michele to honour Gary’s memory as we walk the streets, eat our way through his favourite places and soak up the music. Rest In Peace Gary. Angela and Pasquale.
I knew Gary since he was my supervisor on the Canada Desk. He was one of the best bosses I had in the Foreign Service. But beyond that, I will always remember fondly the many conversations we had on a wide range of topics … Canadian politics, our shared love for the Philadelphia Eagles, whether Canadian football was worth watching, music, and having grown up in the same part of Pennsylvania. I will miss him, though at least his suffering is over.
Gary was a good soul. I am married to Karen, Gary’s sister. Always enjoyed conversations with Gary, especially happenings around the world, politics, and the Philadelphia Eagles. You could always have a great discussion with Gary. He was a great brother-in-law, great brother to Karen and Steve and a great son to Adelle and Bill. Definitely gone too soon. He fought the fight.
I first met Gary when he and Michele stayed with me in England, where I was posted at the time, at the start of their honeymoon. I enjoyed many an adventure with him and Michele since then, visiting them at some of their postings and exploring new places. It did not seem to matter where we were in the world, but Gary would always be able to find the best place to have a great meal. I remember on a visit to Iceland how he found a hole in the wall that served the best lobster bisque. He fought a long and hard battle but he will now be able to rest. He will be greatly missed.
It’s taken me a few days to think about what I wanted to say about Gary. The two memories I want to share are these. Gary started every morning in the office by checking his emails. Then he did his “rounds”. He had a set order to visit and chat with people in the office and he pretty much followed that order. Like his coffee, it was his warm up for the day. In the afternoons, around three, he did another round in the same way that other people get up and stretch about that time. That mental and social stretch got him through the rest of the day. And for a number of years, I rode to Vienna on the Metro with Gary. We chatted about the news, things that had happened in the office, what not. We parted company at Vienna, he to walk home, me to drive. On nice days, Michele came to meet him and they walked home together. When that happened, he often stopped in mid-conversation and say “Michele’s here”. Then off he went, walking a little faster to meet her. And the two of them would walk off home together. Gary was a wonderful person and I will miss him. My condolences to Michele and his family.
I would like to extend my sympathies to Michele and family. Gary and I were friends during undergraduate school at Dickinson College, where we shared common friends and interests. Among my memories, I recall a lively debate about the quality of Neil Young’s singing voice! I’m saddened by his loss, and know that he is and will be missed by many.
RIP Uncle Gary. Your pain and suffering is now over. May you finally be at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you Aunt Michele and the family. You will be missed. Love Dawn, Brian and Alexis. ❤️❤️
Gary was a good neighbor for many years. He will always be known for his wit, intelligence, love of cats, and his love and care for his wife, Michelle. You will be missed.
I had the pleasure of working for Gary twice and also was his neighbor when we served in Montreal. As many of his and my colleagues have expressed, Gary was a mensch, just a decent, pleasant guy. It is an old trope, but Gary didn’t have a mean bone in his body. I’ll remember Gary as a devoted and skilled consular officer, a boss who could both mentor and guide, and a friend who loved to connect over a cup of coffee and chat about whatever the day brought. He was smart, funny, and caring, and he will be missed by me and many other colleagues.
As Director of the Visa Office Public and Diplomatic Liaison, Gary supervised about 40 of us who were involved in the business of responding to inquiries about visas. In practice, this meant that each day we were scrambling to answer hundreds of questions from frantic people whose travel plans had been upset. Often the people were upset too, and they sometimes blamed us for their difficulties! Yet through it all, I sensed that we served a larger purpose, that we were putting a human face on a huge bureaucratic undertaking, and that, in our willingness to listen to and respond to difficult questions, we were demonstrating that our system is accountable, that visa refusals are not made lightly, and that we are aware of the human consequences of our policies. Gary embodied these principles. He was all about communication; he cared about the people he supervised, and he was committed to the public we served. Those of us who were lucky enough to get to know Gary came to appreciate his sophisticated yet mild-mannered humor, and his thoughtfulness to those around him.
A memorial tree was planted in memory of the decedent.
Hey Gary, you will be missed. I always enjoyed our conversations at the Ivy Square picnics, and just seeing you and Michelle around the neighborhood. You always struck me as a kind and intelligent man. You are in my thoughts this day, along with Michelle and other family and friends you leave behind.
A memorial tree was planted in memory of the decedent.
You fought a very long and hard battle Uncle Gary. Your strength and courage was an inspiration to all who knew you. I will always remember our talks about food and wine and of course desserts. I will miss your music choices on Facebook, Sometimes it was amazing how your song choice would fit into my day so perfectly. Thank you for all the gifts over the years for me, Karlie, Chris and.Jackson of course. May you rest in peace you are no longer in pain. I will love you always. Angie, Karlie, Chris, Jackson and Libby.❤❤
Rob Callard here, friend of Gary, fellow consular officer, and Canada lover. I worked with him from 2013 until he had to leave us. What a fine man, and much respected! Gary was not one of our Department automatons, rigidly following rules without a good word for anyone. No, he was a people person, and his paradoxical shyness enabled others to respond to him trustingly. We shared a love for Canada, he with tales of Vancouver, Montreal, and trips with Michelle to the northern reaches. And together we were also the “old men” of Consular Affairs, able to advise the youngsters on our consular history. Gary was a gentleman, a rare breed in these days of computers and efficiency. I remember that first day when he had an unaccountable tic in his jaw, and worried about him, but who would have suspected what would happen? He came back to us once, his jaw wrapped up, but his eyes were the same, warm, with a glint of humor. We followed him on Facebook, and I kept emailing Canada stuff as I ran across it. And all this time we marveled at what a wonderful wife he must have. I miss him. We all miss him. Rob