Oliver "Oli" Michael Abbatiello
September 2, 2011 ~ November 2, 2019
Oliver Michael Abbatiello was named for peace, and the first two initials of his name, OM, represent the sound of the universe. From the day he was born he sounded like love and he brought light to the world. In this he was a perfect match to his incredible older brother Leal, and together they joined forces to always make what John Lewis would call “good trouble.”
He loved all people, all creatures, especially those overlooked or underappreciated. (He held funerals for dead spiders and wept for mosquitos we slapped out of the air.) He loved his family, immediate and extended, his friends, his teachers, and the humans he never got to meet, but who informed his worldview.
And he had a worldview, even at 8 years old. He was a fierce defender of justice and honesty. When asked what he would do to change the Constitution, he wrote “No guns. Be kind.” At 7 he declared himself a vegetarian because he could not bear the idea of animals dying at his expense. He was determined to grow up and be an animal saver, and practiced toward this goal daily, saving caterpillars and worms to prevent them from getting stepped on, donating money to an animal shelter, caring for his fish and his dog and his stuffed animals. He loved all things Nature and wanted to do whatever he could to protect the earth. A walk with Oli would show you things you never would have seen alone, from hidden frogs, to iridescent beetles, to the tiniest and most colorful fall leaves. All precious. All important.
But his constant advocacy for what is right was not devoid of a huge sense of humor and passion for laughter and fun. He played so hard on the monkey bars his hands blistered. He learned to ride a bike this summer, and to swim, and he loved the independence these joys of childhood afforded him. His every imaginative plan became real with the help of his big brother. Leal and Oli created vast worlds together in MineCraft and continuously transformed their basement hangout with wild train tracks, marble runs, stop-motion animation studios, and Lego landscapes. And always, in the background, music played, thanks to their personal Alexa who did their bidding, jumping from the Beatles to Lizzo to Hamilton. At the top of their lungs they sang to “not throw away my shot,” and Oli did not. They built bunk beds in the basement, where they stayed up late into the night reading, talking, exchanging notes, and dreaming big dreams together.
One of the last things Oli said before the sudden sickness overtook him was how strange it was that the tin man in The Wizard of Oz thought he did not have a heart, but he wept for the beetle he killed on the yellow brick road.
All are invited to:
• A visitation at Money and King Funeral Home, 171 W. Maple Ave., Vienna, VA on Saturday, November 9, from 2 to 4 p.m. (The visitation will include space for a viewing separate from a space for a remembrance.)
• A Celebration of Life for Oli at Huntley Meadows Park, 3701 Lockheed Blvd, Alexandria, VA 22306 on Sunday, November 10, beginning at 10 a.m. Guests will be invited create, hike, and be together.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Last Chance Animal Rescue, 8500 Bensville Rd, Waldorf, MD 20601 www.lastchanceanimalrescue.org. This is the organization for which Oli wanted to find a home for every animal they worked to save.
He loved all people, all creatures, especially those overlooked or underappreciated. (He held funerals for dead spiders and wept for mosquitos we slapped out of the air.) He loved his family, immediate and extended, his friends, his teachers, and the humans he never got to meet, but who informed his worldview.
And he had a worldview, even at 8 years old. He was a fierce defender of justice and honesty. When asked what he would do to change the Constitution, he wrote “No guns. Be kind.” At 7 he declared himself a vegetarian because he could not bear the idea of animals dying at his expense. He was determined to grow up and be an animal saver, and practiced toward this goal daily, saving caterpillars and worms to prevent them from getting stepped on, donating money to an animal shelter, caring for his fish and his dog and his stuffed animals. He loved all things Nature and wanted to do whatever he could to protect the earth. A walk with Oli would show you things you never would have seen alone, from hidden frogs, to iridescent beetles, to the tiniest and most colorful fall leaves. All precious. All important.
But his constant advocacy for what is right was not devoid of a huge sense of humor and passion for laughter and fun. He played so hard on the monkey bars his hands blistered. He learned to ride a bike this summer, and to swim, and he loved the independence these joys of childhood afforded him. His every imaginative plan became real with the help of his big brother. Leal and Oli created vast worlds together in MineCraft and continuously transformed their basement hangout with wild train tracks, marble runs, stop-motion animation studios, and Lego landscapes. And always, in the background, music played, thanks to their personal Alexa who did their bidding, jumping from the Beatles to Lizzo to Hamilton. At the top of their lungs they sang to “not throw away my shot,” and Oli did not. They built bunk beds in the basement, where they stayed up late into the night reading, talking, exchanging notes, and dreaming big dreams together.
One of the last things Oli said before the sudden sickness overtook him was how strange it was that the tin man in The Wizard of Oz thought he did not have a heart, but he wept for the beetle he killed on the yellow brick road.
All are invited to:
• A visitation at Money and King Funeral Home, 171 W. Maple Ave., Vienna, VA on Saturday, November 9, from 2 to 4 p.m. (The visitation will include space for a viewing separate from a space for a remembrance.)
• A Celebration of Life for Oli at Huntley Meadows Park, 3701 Lockheed Blvd, Alexandria, VA 22306 on Sunday, November 10, beginning at 10 a.m. Guests will be invited create, hike, and be together.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Last Chance Animal Rescue, 8500 Bensville Rd, Waldorf, MD 20601 www.lastchanceanimalrescue.org. This is the organization for which Oli wanted to find a home for every animal they worked to save.
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Oli was a joyful, tree-hugging, human-loving child.
We are so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute to such a special child. Abby truly enjoyed having Oliver in her class last year and this year. She was excited that they were going to be SCA reps together. You all are in our thoughts and prayers. With deepest sympathy, the Cota Family
My daughter Katy shared second grade with Oli, they were in the same class. I asked her to tell me about him and she said forcefully, “Oh Mommy, he is the best boy in the whole class, by far. And the nicest. Everyone likes him.” Your expression of his spirit that you so eloquently capture in his obituary are truths known not just by his mom and dad, but also recognized by his peers each and every day. I wish deeply that there was some kind of silver lining to point to, but I am simply shocked and deeply saddened that this wonderful little boy left this world far too soon. My heart goes out to you and your whole family and we will forever keep Oli in our hearts.
Our son is friends with Leal at Stratford. Although we hadn’t met Oli, your beautiful words share the amazing young man he was and the gift that he shared in your lives. We are here for you and thinking of you and Peter will support Leal. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful son. I am so very sorry for your loss.
While I did not know Oli, I know his mother Jenna who is a light in the world and to all who know her. I can see that his bright presence in your family and the world has taught you to love, imagine, share, create, protect and embrace the beauty and bounty that our world offers. With my deepest sympathy, I send my love and a prayer for your family.
Our family is deeply saddened by your loss. Brendan is lucky to have made friends with Oliver at MSA, and we are thankful to you for bringing such a kind and fun-loving boy into the world. Sending all our love, the Packard family (Nate, Debbie, Brendan, Maya and Olivia)
My son Kai has been fortunate enough to be in Oliver’s class two out of three years at Belle View. We spent a lot of time today talking about Oliver, who Kai loved dearly. He is going to miss sitting with him at lunch and scouring the woods for insects as a charter member of the Bug Patrol. In his too short life, Oliver touched so many, including the life of my son. We are so grateful for the time they were able to spend together, and know we all will continue to be blessed by the memory of your incredibly special boy. Our entire family sends you love (Sarah, John, Kai, and Cole Gniadek.)
I did not know Oli but I know he was a wonderful friend of my son’s (different grade) friend. What a beautiful photo and description of Oli’s life and particular brand of magic. We are holding all of you in our hearts and wish you the certainty that you will see him again one day. Catherine Zebrowski
I am so sorry for your loss. Oliver sounds like such an incredible soul. What a gift it must have been to have him in your life and to be able to love and learn from and beside him every day. I will be praying for you and thinking of you and his loved ones in the days, weeks, and months to come. Love–Julia Torres
We are so incredibly sorry for your loss. There are no words. Oli was such a sweet soul and I remember your whole family so fondly from our years at MSA. We are praying for you.
We will never forget the magical day we spent with Jenna, Leal and Oli. Their love of nature and animals were evident. The world will miss this incredible human being who had such compassion and love for the tiniest of creatures. Our deepest love, the McNabb and Cicheskie families
We enjoyed playing basketball and coaching Oliver. He was always a great teammate, worked hard on the court, and never gave up. We loved playing with him and being his friend. Our prayers are with our classmate, Leal, and your entire family. Carter, Keller, Brent, and Anne Merchant
Dave and I remember fondly many mornings where we’d wake up to the sounds of our young neighbors next door bouncing the ball at the basketball net, laughing with delight as they climbed on their playset and ran with their dog Luca, or when the saw their first tomato of the year in their amazing garden. But our favorite memory was the morning at the end of last summer when we noticed the boys in the garden with their mom picking flowers and preparing bouquets of the seasons final blooms. I left to run a errand, but when I came back, the boys were in the front yard with a picnic table and the bouquets they’d picked earlier. I slowed to a stop as I pulled in my driveway and rolled down the window and yelled out, “how much for one of your flowers?” Oli was very excited and said, “Um, we’re collecting donations and we’re going to give the money to Last Chance Rescue!” “That’s where we got our dog Lucy,” I excitedly responded. I asked Oli to pick his favorite bouquet–the most colorful. When he brought me his favorite I gave him $20. He was so excited for his “sale.” I went into the house with my bouquet of flowers in my new vase made from an empty can of beans and shared my story with Dave. He marched out and gave the boys $50 for a bouquet! Leal and Oli were even MORE excited. Leal told Dave he could have all the remaining flowers. But Dave told him to keep the flowers and “re-sell” them to the next group of folks to come by along the street noting they could gather even more donation money. Later that day, the boys proudly reported they collected and donated $150 to Last Chance Animal Rescue. And ever since we’ve been bragging about how impressed we are by the generosity and charity of our boys next door.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I am holding your family in the light and hoping you find strength, peace and comfort in your cherished memories and his wonderful spirit.
My heart breaks for the loss of Oli and for his family’s pain. He was truly a wonderful young man with a loving family, particularly his Mom, who is a friend and colleague. Jenna, I hope you can feel my arms around you in support and warmth as you endure this unfair and unimaginably sad loss.
A candle was lit for the decedent.
Dear Jenna and family, Please know that my heart is with you during this hard journey of grief you’re facing. I am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved Oli.
A candle was lit for the decedent.
Jenna and family, I am holding you all in my heart. Love to all of you. Linda Adler-Kassner
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Dear Jenna and family, what a wonderful tribute to such a wonderful boy, one who gave so much to the universe. He will be missed; and we are holding you in our hearts as he is. kathi yancey
Nature weeps at Oli’s too-short journey through it, and I weep alongside. Surely Oli did not throw away his shot, even now. May we each aspire to a corner of his code of saving things dismissed by too many as not worth the effort. I admire and thank and bless the family that nurtured him. Oli’s worldview informs now my own.
I am so sad and sorry for the loss of such a special Bobcat. I had the privilege of being Oliver’s first grade teacher and am incredibly thankful for the time we were able to learn from each other. It did not take long to learn what an incredible child Oliver was and how big his heart was. I was continually impressed with his kindness towards his classmates as well as the nature that surrounded us. He was a friend to anyone who needed one and knew the value of our Earth and did his best to inspire others to take care of our planet. His creativity and curiosity convinced me early on that he was going to change the world. And he has definitely changed mine. Oliver made me feel so special and loved whether it was a hand painted rock with a motivating message of “you rock!,” delicious banana muffins with a note letting me know I was “awesome,” or hand made soaps that kept my hands clean after a long day-he constantly reminded me to believe in myself, something I aspire to instill in my students. This year, even though Oliver had moved up to second grade and was in a new classroom, he took the time every morning to come and visit me. I loved these moments checking in with him each day, reminiscing about our time in first grade together and sharing events that were going on in our own lives. These past few weeks were spent rocking our red together and taking our “lucky” pictures to ensure the Nationals’ post season success. I am so grateful for these moments and all the moments I was able to spend with Oliver. I will try to carry on Oliver’s spirit in my own life as well as spread his kindness and love of nature to future students.
A candle was lit for the decedent.
Thank you Oli for being my friend as long as we could. i had a fun time with you all year long and the few months and on the monkey bars with you.
I do not know Oli, but my daughter Sophia knows him from school. Sophia has shared how gentle Oli was with the bugs at recess and did not want to hurt them like the some of the other boys and that he was the best at monkey bars. Sophia misses Oli and asked that I share we will keep him and your family in our prayers. I am so very sorry, but reading the other tributes and hearing about Oli from Sophia tells me what a wonderful gift of a such a big hearted and kind boy.
My heart goes out to the Abbatiello family. I remember how proud James would be whenever he would bring his beloved son to Hammond for a visit. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you. Elaine Brand (former Hammond librarian)
I wanted to share these flowers I’ll always remember receiving. He was a joy and a treasure to have in my classroom.
The world is not as bright without sweet Oli in it. Our hearts break for his family. Gavin considered Oli one of his very best friends. The past year and a half they have spent part of recess making a book series together taking turns adding ideas and illustrating. They bonded over a love of bugs, being outside, and creating new things. Gavin was so very lucky to have been in the same class with Oliver the last two years. Oli helped Gavin come out of his shell and learn to laugh with new friends. We will be forever grateful of their friendship. Oli will always hold a special place in our hearts. Our deepest condolences. Gavin, Landon, gillian, and Greg Livesay.
The dinos extend their deepest love and care to their friends Leal, Jenna, and James. They will carry Oli’s magic with them always. om ha ha ha vismaye svaha
My heart goes out to the family. Oli will be missed he was a sweet child. He has been with SACC since he was a kindergartener. He was quiet and caring child, who loved spending time with his friends. I pray for comfort in your time of grief. SACC Staff : Ms.Robyn, Ms.Tina, Mr.Wayne, Mr.Mark, Ms.Tia
Sending love and light to your family, Jenna. –shelbie witte
Oliver was my best friend and I am really sad. I am very sorry for your loss. But in the day that Oli passed away a butterfly came out of its cocoon. It was from a caterpillar i picked in my garden and kept it at home until it turned into a butterfly. I still have the butterfly at home. You can see a picture of it here. Nathaniel (8 years old)
My prayers are with you through this extremely painful time. I enjoyed hearing about your sons and seeing them when they visited Hammond. May God ease your pain and enrich your memories of Oli. Vicki
I am so saddened to hear of Oli and my heart goes out to the Abbatiello family. I know James was extremely proud of his children and the tributes of Oli describe a very special child. My prayers are with the family. ~ Ellan Moore (former Hammond teacher)
I am a friend of Chuck and Jeannie, grandparents to Oli’s cousins. As a parent, I am so saddened that sickness can inflict such random cruelty on a beautiful young boy and his family. Anyone who reads about him will know that the world lost a special soul. My prayers are with the family and his brother Leal in particular. May comfort and peace find you all.
Dr. Abbatiello, I am so very sorry for your loss. I only met Oliver once at STEM night last school year, and I remember commenting on how nice your boys were as they were sweeping and cleaning up after the event. You smiled at me and said, “oh they know what they’re supposed to do” in a way that only a parent says to another parent to confirm the solid foundation that is set at home. I will keep your family in my prayers that God surround you with peace during this time. I couldn’t make it to the memorial, but I have donated to Animal Rescue is Oliver’s memory. God Bless. -Shonta Robertson
A candle was lit for the decedent.
What a beautiful tribute for an amazing little boy! Much love and thought certainly went into his obituary. I am heartbroken for you even though I don’t know you personally. We are friends of Joan and Dick, through both school and Joan Brown, a mutual friend. We were also neighbors of Matt and his family when they and we each lived in Poestenkill. And now, I’m playing cards with Jeanne Vejodia! It is, indeed, a small world! Unlike many others—the fortunate ones—I can honestly say I understand what you are going through. Our daughter’s only child was killed by a hit and run driver when he (Christopher) was killed. He was a junior in high school at the time. I’ve always said it was a double-whammy for us; we lost a beloved grandson with whom we were exceptionally close, and our daughter was in such anguish, yet we had no way to truly help her. (Your parents are experiencing similar feelings, I’m sure.) Thus, I truly feel your pain and unspeakable loss. We continue to feel the loss of Christopher every day, but I will tell you it becomes a bit less raw over time. And, that old adage that the young die young seems to hold true for both Oli and Chris. While he was alive, my mother always said he was too good to be true. It certainly seems that applies also to Oli! You’ve made it apparent that your Oli possessed such heart and caring. Our Chris’ mission seemed to be one of making others happy. He reached out, listened to, and gave to everyone he encountered. Animals and nature appear to have captured Oli’s heart. Christopher’s birthdate is Dec. 1, so every year, on this date, we honor his memory by ringing the Salvation Army bells—an organization which cares for and shares with others. Doing this has helped us (his family, friends, and Columbia HS students) cope with such a sad day, as well as extending to others a similar caring that Christopher, himself, would have embraced. I’m mentioning this, not to talk about Christopher, but to suggest to you that in the future you may find an appropriate way to remember Oli’s memory—perhaps volunteering for an animal rescue group???? Continuing to honor him and recall all that he was will serve as one step in your grief journey, but only one. You will be in my thoughts and prayers for a long time because I know you’ll need all the “help” you can get to survive this unbelievable tragedy. My deepest condolences, Jan Newport
We are very sorry for your loss and we are heartbroken. We will miss Oliver very much. From All of us at Alexandria music .
A candle was lit for the decedent.
Jenna and family, I never met Oli, and I only recently learned of your loss. I am so, so sorry. I can’t even imagine your grief. I wish I had met this lovely, tenderhearted young boy described in the beautiful tribute to his life. The world was enriched by his presence, albeit too briefly. I am heartbroken for you all, and though I only know Jenna–and only through our interactions in NCTE, I hope you will accept my sincere condolences and my wishes for comfort and strength during this difficult time.
I just learned the sad news from my cousin Dick. Our condolences to the Abbatiello family. We never met Oli but he sounds like our kind of lad. We both respect life in all forms and the Native American concept of caretakers of the land. And like Oli I am a vegetarian. Oli did so much good in his young life . May God bless him and find a special place for him.
A candle was lit for the decedent.
A candle was lit for the decedent.