Milagros Ruiz Tecala
November 26, 1942 ~ June 24, 2016
Milagros Ruiz Tecala
26 November 1942 24 June 2016
Mila Tecala, beloved mother to Raoul (Elizabeth Shillingford Tecala) and Chris (Cindy Mars Tecala), "Lola" to her five grandchildren David, Gracie, Johnny and twins Jack and Noah passed away on Friday, 24 June 2016 at Reston Hospital in Fairfax County, Virginia. In addition to her immediate family, Mila leaves behind a plethora of friends, colleagues and patients who will forever remember her generosity of spirit, understanding of the human condition and ability to help people carry on when they think all is lost.
Mila was born of very humble circumstances, on the island of Cebu, Philippines on 26 November 1942. Her mother died shortly thereafter due to complications from childbirth. Even so, Mila always felt her mother's presence often thinking of the young Maria Nazareth as a "guardian angel" taking care of her even though she was not physically present.
Raised by her maternal grandparents, Mila went to Cebu South Provincial high school - what would be known today as a "magnet" school. She finished 2nd in her class of about 100 students while also working as a disc jockey for the local radio station closing every show with "Que Sera Sera" by Doris Day. Given her economic status, high school would normally be the end of road for her education except fate, or maybe her guardian angel, took a hand.
At the time, the principal of her high school was travelling in the USA researching education policies and teaching principles to bring back to the Philippines. During his travels, he came across a scholarship program for Asian students at the University of Michigan. Unbeknownst to Mila, he submitted the scholarship application on her behalf and voila, Mila was on her way to Ann Arbor!
So began Mila's grand adventure a 17 year old, pretty Filipina who had never been far from her village embarked on a 10, 000 mile trip to start a new life in the good old USA. Realizing her education was the key to making a better life, Mila did well at the University of Michigan, earning her BA in Sociology and Psychology in 3 years. She then went on to earn her Masters in Social Work and was on her way to a doctorate when life got in the way she got married and moved to Washington DC.
She landed a job as a social worker with the Hospital for Sick Children helping chronically ill children and their families. After a year, Mila cold called into Georgetown Hospital in search of a medical/research environment. At the time, Georgetown was having trouble filling a post in the Oncology department. Apparently, oncology was quite a mystery and scared off candidates. But not Mila she jumped at the chance and so began a 10 year career at Georgetown Hospital where, frankly, a star was born. While at Georgetown, Mila's expertise grew she became a consultant at the National Cancer Institute, consulted on a number of publications / books and delivered "Psycho-Social Rounds with Mila" every Friday from 3-5pm focused on helping doctors/residents relate to their patients more effectively.
Interspersed with all this professional development, Mila managed to start a family. First came Raoul in 1966 and then Chris in 1971. While they wouldn't admit it back then, Raoul and Chris would proudly say now that Mila was a wonderfully attentive mother always loving, stern when she had to be, pushing/prodding the boys to do better especially in their studies but mostly wanting nothing more than for them to be happy and well adjusted. "My boys" as she would say, were her pride and joy. To see them grow up, marry strong, smart women just like herself and provide her with 5 beautiful grandchildren was a just reward in her eyes.
After Georgetown, there were new mountains to climb. In 1980, she decided to go into private practice practically unheard of at the time for anyone without a PhD or MD. Undaunted, she hung out her own shingle. Things were slow at first but picked up considerably when the Peace Corps retained her to evaluate volunteers returning from their overseas assignments. She did so well that the State Department started sending her overseas to do in country evaluations rather than waiting until volunteers rotated back to the States Togo, Thailand, Paraguay, Honduras Mila was quite the frequent flyer.
But she didn't stop there. In the 90's Mila pioneered the role of social worker-as-expert witness in trials quantifying the loss of a loved one. Like private practice, it was unheard of for anyone without a PhD or MD to be deemed an "expert witness" in a legal sense. But Mila's mastery of the subject matter, her ability to relate to the victims and articulate their grief won over juries and judges alike. This led to her co-authoring a book with Robert Hall - "Grief and Loss: Identifying and Proving Damages in Wrongful Death Cases" (Trial Guides LLC).
The new century brought more of the same, this time with the professional accolades she deserved. In 1999, Mila was named "Social Worker of the Year" for the Washington DC chapter of the National Association of Social Workers. In 2000, she did one better achieving National Social Worker of the Year.
In hindsight, Mila was one of those rare individuals whose natural interests and talents met their perfect calling. She loved her work and her work was her. Despite her professional success, what drove her was helping people one person at a time. Pain, Grief, Suffering these were the enemies she worked tirelessly against and she was wildly successful. Over a 50 year career, she must have helped thousands of people directly which extends to the tens of thousands if we include those who she helped indirectly. All of her patients had very good reasons to disengage from the world and lead lives of quiet desperation. But Mila was able to help them come back, enabling them how to enjoy life again while not forgetting their loved one. As one close friend recently and succinctly said, Mila really made a difference. Isn't that what life is all about?
Below are the relevant details of Mila's Viewing, Funeral Mass and Reception:
Viewing
Thursday, July 7th
2-4pm and 6-8pm
Money and King Funeral Home
171 Maple Ave West
Vienna, VA
Funeral
Friday, July 8th
10:30am
St. Andrew of the Apostle Catholic Church
6720 Union Mill Road
Clifton, VA
Internment
Friday, July 8th
Immediately after funeral
Fairfax Memorial Park
9900 Braddock Road
Fairfax, VA
Reception
Friday, July 8th
1:15-4:30pm
Waterford at Fair Oaks
12025 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway
Fairfax, VA
Funeral Home:
Money & King Funeral Home
171 W. Maple Ave.
Vienna, VA
US 22180
26 November 1942 24 June 2016
Mila Tecala, beloved mother to Raoul (Elizabeth Shillingford Tecala) and Chris (Cindy Mars Tecala), "Lola" to her five grandchildren David, Gracie, Johnny and twins Jack and Noah passed away on Friday, 24 June 2016 at Reston Hospital in Fairfax County, Virginia. In addition to her immediate family, Mila leaves behind a plethora of friends, colleagues and patients who will forever remember her generosity of spirit, understanding of the human condition and ability to help people carry on when they think all is lost.
Mila was born of very humble circumstances, on the island of Cebu, Philippines on 26 November 1942. Her mother died shortly thereafter due to complications from childbirth. Even so, Mila always felt her mother's presence often thinking of the young Maria Nazareth as a "guardian angel" taking care of her even though she was not physically present.
Raised by her maternal grandparents, Mila went to Cebu South Provincial high school - what would be known today as a "magnet" school. She finished 2nd in her class of about 100 students while also working as a disc jockey for the local radio station closing every show with "Que Sera Sera" by Doris Day. Given her economic status, high school would normally be the end of road for her education except fate, or maybe her guardian angel, took a hand.
At the time, the principal of her high school was travelling in the USA researching education policies and teaching principles to bring back to the Philippines. During his travels, he came across a scholarship program for Asian students at the University of Michigan. Unbeknownst to Mila, he submitted the scholarship application on her behalf and voila, Mila was on her way to Ann Arbor!
So began Mila's grand adventure a 17 year old, pretty Filipina who had never been far from her village embarked on a 10, 000 mile trip to start a new life in the good old USA. Realizing her education was the key to making a better life, Mila did well at the University of Michigan, earning her BA in Sociology and Psychology in 3 years. She then went on to earn her Masters in Social Work and was on her way to a doctorate when life got in the way she got married and moved to Washington DC.
She landed a job as a social worker with the Hospital for Sick Children helping chronically ill children and their families. After a year, Mila cold called into Georgetown Hospital in search of a medical/research environment. At the time, Georgetown was having trouble filling a post in the Oncology department. Apparently, oncology was quite a mystery and scared off candidates. But not Mila she jumped at the chance and so began a 10 year career at Georgetown Hospital where, frankly, a star was born. While at Georgetown, Mila's expertise grew she became a consultant at the National Cancer Institute, consulted on a number of publications / books and delivered "Psycho-Social Rounds with Mila" every Friday from 3-5pm focused on helping doctors/residents relate to their patients more effectively.
Interspersed with all this professional development, Mila managed to start a family. First came Raoul in 1966 and then Chris in 1971. While they wouldn't admit it back then, Raoul and Chris would proudly say now that Mila was a wonderfully attentive mother always loving, stern when she had to be, pushing/prodding the boys to do better especially in their studies but mostly wanting nothing more than for them to be happy and well adjusted. "My boys" as she would say, were her pride and joy. To see them grow up, marry strong, smart women just like herself and provide her with 5 beautiful grandchildren was a just reward in her eyes.
After Georgetown, there were new mountains to climb. In 1980, she decided to go into private practice practically unheard of at the time for anyone without a PhD or MD. Undaunted, she hung out her own shingle. Things were slow at first but picked up considerably when the Peace Corps retained her to evaluate volunteers returning from their overseas assignments. She did so well that the State Department started sending her overseas to do in country evaluations rather than waiting until volunteers rotated back to the States Togo, Thailand, Paraguay, Honduras Mila was quite the frequent flyer.
But she didn't stop there. In the 90's Mila pioneered the role of social worker-as-expert witness in trials quantifying the loss of a loved one. Like private practice, it was unheard of for anyone without a PhD or MD to be deemed an "expert witness" in a legal sense. But Mila's mastery of the subject matter, her ability to relate to the victims and articulate their grief won over juries and judges alike. This led to her co-authoring a book with Robert Hall - "Grief and Loss: Identifying and Proving Damages in Wrongful Death Cases" (Trial Guides LLC).
The new century brought more of the same, this time with the professional accolades she deserved. In 1999, Mila was named "Social Worker of the Year" for the Washington DC chapter of the National Association of Social Workers. In 2000, she did one better achieving National Social Worker of the Year.
In hindsight, Mila was one of those rare individuals whose natural interests and talents met their perfect calling. She loved her work and her work was her. Despite her professional success, what drove her was helping people one person at a time. Pain, Grief, Suffering these were the enemies she worked tirelessly against and she was wildly successful. Over a 50 year career, she must have helped thousands of people directly which extends to the tens of thousands if we include those who she helped indirectly. All of her patients had very good reasons to disengage from the world and lead lives of quiet desperation. But Mila was able to help them come back, enabling them how to enjoy life again while not forgetting their loved one. As one close friend recently and succinctly said, Mila really made a difference. Isn't that what life is all about?
Below are the relevant details of Mila's Viewing, Funeral Mass and Reception:
Viewing
Thursday, July 7th
2-4pm and 6-8pm
Money and King Funeral Home
171 Maple Ave West
Vienna, VA
Funeral
Friday, July 8th
10:30am
St. Andrew of the Apostle Catholic Church
6720 Union Mill Road
Clifton, VA
Internment
Friday, July 8th
Immediately after funeral
Fairfax Memorial Park
9900 Braddock Road
Fairfax, VA
Reception
Friday, July 8th
1:15-4:30pm
Waterford at Fair Oaks
12025 Lee Jackson Memorial Highway
Fairfax, VA
Funeral Home:
Money & King Funeral Home
171 W. Maple Ave.
Vienna, VA
US 22180
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My prayers for the family thinking that Mila will be from now on the Guardian Angel for each and everyone of her beloved grandchildren.
I’m sure that Mila’s family already knows that she was a wonderful person who made a big difference in this world.
I am so sorry to hear about Mila’s passing. She was a brilliant and caring colleague. Our community of social workers will miss her and mourn her.
Chris, Raoul, and family, you have demonstrated love and strength through this most difficult time, an impressive tribute to Mila’s influence. She will always be with you in the ways you live your lives. I will miss her. God bless.
Milagros Ruiz Tecala made a difference in this world. She made a difference in the lives of her sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, friends, clients, students and colleagues. Mila made a difference in her beloved social work profession, the legal profession, her community and her church. She made a difference in my life and I miss her very much every day, but I keep what she taught me in my heart.
What a terrific tribute to a great woman. The Tecala family is in our thoughts and prayers! We pray that the Lord blesses you with grace and courage during this difficult time. Kevin and Katherine O’Brien
Mila was a wonderful friend to us. We will miss her so much! Now she is my Guardian Angel!
I attended a workshop led by Mila in Seattle back in the 1970’s. I was so impressed by her ability to make each one of us feel special and for her love of her fellow human beings. I told a colleague about her the other day so I looked her up; only to find that she had died. Reading her obituary, I was not at all surprised to find that she ministered to those who grieve and that she enriched and caused healing in many lives. Thank you, Mila. May God bless all of your family and friends .
A candle was lit for the decedent.
Warmly remembering and sorely missing Mila as an excellent consultant and as a colleague to whom I referred